with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
