thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
