meet me or not, i'm out of control
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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