Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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