You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
