I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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