just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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