I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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