someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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