Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
