"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize