How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize