so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
