I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
