Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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