Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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