I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
