I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I love you. Go after that dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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