I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize