come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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