Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
