he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
