Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
