he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
