She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
