It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
