so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
