I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
