i think my tv is drunk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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