I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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