How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.