Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

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(937): View more from Ohio

they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil

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(702): View more from Nevada

He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.

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