I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.