Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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