no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.