He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
