Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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