Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
