you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
