you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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