never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Vodka?
Forever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
