im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
