this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
