Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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