Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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