did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
