Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!