I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
