when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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