i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
a search helicopter?!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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