So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
