Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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