I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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