Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just pee around me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
