I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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