It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
