If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are we still banned from the library?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
