Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
