He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my vagina is haunted
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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