she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize