i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
