GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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