By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
