I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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