I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
