so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
