Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am available for nakedness
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
