your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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