Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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