4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
